I recently worked with participants processing experiences of racism in the workplace, and here’s something I noticed we - myself included - do in such uncomfortable situations:
We make ourselves disappear.
When we over-function to prove our worth and competence, we disappear.
When we contort and shrink our bodies to brush off an inappropriate comment, we disappear.
When we stand in the corner of the room at an event to scan bodies and stares we disappear.
When we trap our anger in our breath to avoid being ‘confrontational’ or ‘difficult’, we disappear.
When I disappear - for the comfort of the other - they remain fully intact,
while I’m now left to tend to my body and the harm that has landed upon it yet again.
What can grow for us when we:
Stop apologising for the discomfort felt by the other when we bring up our own truth?
Walk a little slower and more fully in our bodies to reclaim space, time and energy because: we deserve to be here.
Reflect the burden back to the other person for them to self-educate and do better - rather than us always reconfiguring ourselves?